Star Wars Ranked
#12 - The Last Jedi
Where to begin with this film? The boring plot that amounted to nothing more than a very slow car chase? The nonsensical subplot of sending Finn on a very long, pointless side quest that accomplished nothing because the writers didn’t know what to do with him? How the previous film built up two main villains, only for them to receive next to no screen time and be killed off almost as an afterthought? The romance they tried to foreshadow but still came out of nowhere because of a lack of chemistry? Or let’s get real nitpicky and talk about how this is the only Star Wars movie not to have the spoken line “I have a bad feeling about this.” Instead, it’s expressed by BB-8 in binary.
#11 - The Rise of Skywalker
The caveat to this list is that The Rise of Skywalker is, hands down, the WORST Star Wars movie, and just like The Last Jedi, it has a plethora of problems. However, many of its issues are due to the fact that it was given the Herculean task of trying to fix all the mistakes from The Last Jedi. So when a movie is so bad that it causes its sequel to be even worse, it transcends that bottom spot.
#10 - Attack of the Clones
As low as I have this movie ranked, I’m actually going give it nothing but praise. I think its only shortcomings are the acting and dialogue. The increased politics of the film got so much criticism, that it overshadowed the fact that the movie struck an incredible balance between action and romance, and a lot of action at that. But when it comes to the increased political aspects, it’s a necessary evil. One thing the prequel trilogy does that’s even more important than showing how Anakin became Vader, is showing how the Republic became the Empire. The reason Attack of the Clones is ranked so low, in spite of its near perfect structure, is simply because it’s not very fun to watch. But in terms of story, this may be the most important film of the entire series.
#9 - A New Hope
Almost every other Star Wars ranking list I found online had this at either #1 or #2. But almost none of them could provide a legitimate reason for such a high ranking beyond the nostalgia factor. So, here’s where I sit with this movie: just because something is the original does not mean it’s the best. Let’s face it, Star Wars is at its best when it’s not in the hands of George Lucas. The best thing he ever did with it, was sell it.
#8 - Revenge of the Sith
Other than Anakin’s turn to the dark side being so quick it gave you whiplash, I actually don’t have a lot to say about this film, it’s just kind of there. It wrapped everything up in ways that were a little too convenient, and had an entertaining final fight that was a little too over the top. Other than that, meh.
#7 - The Empire Strikes Back
I said at the beginning that you would disagree with this list, was I right? I know this is everybody’s #1, and has been ever since Clerks. But the ending is this film’s only saving grace, and it gets WAY too much praise for it. The biggest hurtle of this film for me is Luke’s time training on Dagobah, it’s boring and Yoda is annoying (I skip these scenes every time I watch it). Meanwhile, Han and Leia spend the whole time running from the Empire in what was a weird combination of entertaining, but uninteresting.
Psychological theory that nobody will agree with: the ending that gets so much praise starts with about 40 minutes remaining in the movie (that’s about a third of the film), because such a high quality ending is happening over such a long period of time we forget just how mediocre everything that came before it was.
#6 - Solo
Solo is by no means a bad movie, it just came out at a bad time when Star Wars fatigue was setting in, but I also think it’s a movie that should never have been made in the first place. Prior to this film, one of the things that made Han Solo such a great character was the fact that we didn’t really know anything about him. This film decided to answer a lot of questions that nobody asked and took away from the mystique of the character in the process. However, on top of Donald Glover’s brilliant performance as Lando Calrissian, it did finally give us something we’ve been wanting ever since 1313 got cancelled, a look at the seedy underworld of the Star Wars universe.
#5 - The Phantom Menace
Yeah, it got political. Yeah, it was campy. Yeah, it gave us Jar Jar Binks. And yeah, that little kid who played Anakin was kind of annoying. But more important than any of that, it’s just a fun movie. Facts: Podracing is no doubt on humanity's list of “Things to Make Real”, and that Darth Maul fight is awesome. Admit it, for all its flaws, you enjoy this movie.
#4 - The Mandalorian
By far the best Star Wars series to date. Leaning into the grittier realism of the Star Wars universe, it has character, mystery, lore, and of course action. The only shortcoming of the show is that, at times, it can be too withholding. Many episodes leave you with the feeling that you’re just being strung along with the promise of intrigue that you can’t help but question if the show will actually make good on.
#3 - Rogue One
If it wasn’t for the fact that the entire reason Rogue One even exists is to fix a plot hole, then it would’ve ranked even higher. Other that than, it’s a great movie, easily one of the best. And pardon my pun, but it’s the Star Wars movie that went rogue. Deviating from the stylized aesthetics of every other entry, it offers up a more believable depiction of the Star Wars universe and what its battles would actually look like. Rogue One also has one of the best telling’s of a suicide mission ever put to film, and of course, that Darth Vader scene.
#2 - The Force Awakens
True, it’s basically just retelling the same story as A New Hope. However, The Force Awakens did a much better job of it, with next to no plot holes. Now you may scoff at the idea that this movie doesn’t have any plot holes, but most of these so-called plot holes are actually explained via throwaway lines that you probably weren’t paying attention to, or with subtle details throughout the movie that you didn’t notice the first time around (never before has a film been so criticized for rewarding multiple viewings). This was a triumphant return for Star Wars, and it’s a shame the sequels screwed everything up.
#1 - Return of the Jedi
Where most people say “Empire,” I say “Jedi.” It has the best opening sequence with the escape from Jabba the Hutt, the second-best battle sequence with the Battle of Endor (Scarif in Rogue One being the first), and the iconic speeder bike chase scene that spawned a popular arcade game that everybody sucked at. It gave us a twist on a twist when we found out that Luke and Leia are brother and sister, and we got to see Darth Vader find his soul. The bulk of the movie is more entertaining, and its many endings are more satisfying. The reason the other trilogies have not been able to live up to the God-like status of the original is because it had the perfect finale.
